Ok, it wasn’t exactly giant. Actually it was small. I cannot confirm if it actually wanted to kill me, however based on it’s behavior, it was definitely on crack, and God only knows what bats on drugs can do, right?
So, I was sitting on my bed, completely unaware of the nightmare that was about to unfold when I heard some kind of scratching of unknown origin. I decided to ignore it and blame it on my mental illness. Well, I don’t hear voices but I’m almost sure that at some point I will start hearing things however, as a person in denial of almost everything, I rejected that theory immediately. What most probably happened was that I gained some kind of super powers and now I can hear my neighbor scratching his ass. Awesome.
I realized how wrong I was when I saw something moving under the sheets. I was completely paralyzed for at least 10 seconds until I realized that “the thing” was moving in my direction. It stopped moving. Maybe it’s dead? I decided to wait few minutes and see if any further movement occurs.
Ok, it’s still not moving. It’s definitely dead. Now I can check what it was. (lying to myself was the only way to make any kind of move) Of course I was smart enough to take a mop from the kitchen first. Just in case. I was expecting the worst. Chupacabra, aliens, giant cockroach, you know…all the things that you wouldn’t normally expect to find moving in your bed. So…in one swift move the truth was out. Well, not exactly because I was asking myself silently Shit. What the fuck is that? And then, what I keep referring to as “the thing”, lifted it’s head up and yup… I was paralyzed again. It’s a bat. I was almost entirely sure that it will jump to my throat and start sucking my blood any second now. Assuming of course it was an evil vampire bat. But they don’t attack people I guess…They don’t sleep in beds either so who knows what could happen. I was prepared to die (or live forever as a vampire of course), but as a last resort I slowly approached the window in attempt to open it. Now I will just try to shoo it with a mop and everything will be fine…Unfortunately the bat didn’t give a shit about the mop, stayed in one place and kept staring me in the eyes. I was actually patting the bat with the mop, because I didn’t want to hurt him. Or her. I don’t know.
Since trying to remove the bat manually from my room was out of the question, I left it in the room with an open window. He was gone few hours later. Of course I turned the room upside down to make sure the danger is gone. So far so good. Although I have a feeling that he’s still there, lurking in the shadows ready to attack me in my sleep. That thought makes falling asleep basically impossible, at least for next few nights. I also decided not to open windows ever again. I’m sure I will suffocate at some point from lack of oxygen. Unless of course the bat is still here. Then I will become a vampire and turn into Robert Pattinson (but without all the glittery stuff). Awesome.